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So This is the New Year

January 9, 2006

We had a discussion on our last cell meeting that really sparked thought inside of me. We talked about our New Year’s resolutions. I thought about my goals for the year 2006, and by the end of the night, I realized they were all completely selfish. Nowhere in my list was outreach. It was all about SELF-improvement. I have been thinking about it a lot this week, and I have come to the conclusion that a lot of my growth can and should come through giving. I have said this in previous entries on here, but I want to reiterate that Jesus clothed the naked, fed the hungry, and gave to the poor. I feel like the vast majority of the things I do are simply to make my way of life better. I mean, it is simply our human nature to think of self first. It is the natural persuasion. I really think that when we can give up ourselves, we are opening a door to let God in. When I look at my past, the times I have felt most fulfilled were when I took my focus off myself. I realize this entry is probably a bit jumbled, but it has been pressing really hard on my heart. I have been feeling very confused about Christianity in general. I feel like a lot of the things I placed so much weight on, are less and less significant. I have the feeling that we have possibly misinterpreted the Bible in many ways. With that in mind, I find it is easy to become cynical. I have decided, that it is pointless to get to so technical when I am not following a lot of the basic principles that Jesus laid out for us. Anyway, hopefully this entry doesn’t sound negative. I honestly feel encouraged by it; Jesus has given us a blueprint on how to live the perfect life. Obviously, he realizes that we are going to screw up, but I feel that it is time for the church to step and think outwardly.

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