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Life’s Circumstances.

January 28, 2010

I have gone back and forth as to whether or not I should share this with my blog readers. Ultimately, I didn’t see any harm in it. It’s something I have been carrying with me since this summer, and I think it’s influenced a lot of the emotion I’ve felt and the ways I’ve responded to certain things/people. Sometimes, I think it’s important to write/document important things that have happened to you (good or bad). It gives you clarity about it. Anyways, I forewarn you it’s pretty depressing and perhaps graphic.

It was late July, my friends had been married the day before and all of the hustle and bustle of the weekend was coming to a close. The sun fad fallen beneath the Colorado horizon and created a cool breeze in the air. We laughed and bantered as the car rolled along the concrete, on its way to meet up with everyone. As we exited on to Colorado Boulevard, I remember there being a soft moment of silence. I turned my head to the center of the road and was immediately accosted by an explosion of fast food, clothing and skin. It seemed like a dream, some kind of hyper-reality. I told Chris to pull over the car, he was confused and I repeated myself with more curse words and volume. As the car rolled to a stop I flung open the door and ran to her, lying on the concrete. Her body was twitching and moving in ways I did not know where possible. I remember her eyes were open, focusing on the particles of dirt and road in front of her face. I had no idea what to do. I simply said “Just be still, everything is going to be okay, the paramedics are on the way”. The men and women showed up in their ambulance within 2 minutes and rushed her off. I slowly walked over to the curb and sat. When I saw the police officer closing off the road completely, I knew. I later found out she was a 19 year old student at the community college across the street, simply crossing the street to get a hamburger.

The next day, I walked through the familiar doors of Mark and Judith’s. I completely lost whatever ounce of control I had left in my body and wept. At that time, little June was merely weeks old. Judith put her in my arms and I felt the healing power of beautiful, innocent life washing me.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I still get images of the scene. I don’t ever want to be accustomed to this sight. I want to use it to value what I have, and the relationships I participate in. The life we breathe in every second is precious.

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