A Concerned Fan

Dear New Kids on the Block,

 

I recently heard word of a possible reunion. You performed on a morning show (watch here). I must say, you are as tight as ever. I just really hope you maintain your artistic integrity. Since 1988 you have been pounding out the hits and it would be such a heart break to see you “sell out”. I know that term has been over-used in modern music. Really though, don’t sell out, we need that grass roots organized dance-pop now more than ever.

 

Also, if you could possibly work with Mark Wahlberg on bringing back Marky Mark that would be great.

 

Your Fan Forever,

Josh Mickelson

<3

 

A Few Things

• Work has been busy this week and intense, so my blogging has kind of sucked. haha.
• Worship at ORCC was incredible last night. I feel like the standard has been raised.
• I just read Whitman’s Song of Myself and it was really beautiful.
• The rest of this month is going to be insanely busy. I have to get everything moved to the new place, and I am out of town for Memorial Day weekend. Should be interesting!
• The Avett Brothers and Josh Ritter have really been hitting the spot this week.
• I bought some vinyl this week, which is something I haven’t done in a while. Here is my list, although I need to update it.
• Lars and the Real Girl was really entertaining. CZECH it out!
• I feel like a hobo when I wear these shoes, but they are so damned comfortable!

Survey

My friends, Nathan and Matthew filled out this Proustian survey. I thought it would be interesting, so I followed suit.

The principle aspect of my personality. To gain/give love and acceptance.

The quality that I desire in a man. Consistency

The quality that I desire in a woman. To be free.

What I appreciate most about my friends. I appreciate that they are all so unique.

My main fault. Insecurity

My favorite occupation. Playing music

My dream of happiness. To be free to dream out loud.

What would be my greatest misfortune? Giving up on God.

What I should like to be. Fiscally responsible, married, etc.

The country where I should like to live. Estonia or Copenhagen

My favorite color. Green

The flower that I like. The ones that smell like the spring.

My favorite prose authors. I am not very well-read, but I’d say Brian McLaren (heretic!!!).

My favorite poets. So far: Gary Snyder.

My heroes in fiction. Gregor Samsa

My favorite heroines in fiction. ???

My favorite composers. Henry Mikolaj Gorecki, currently.

My favorite painters. I have been fascinated by Michelangelo

My heroes in real life. Too many to list.

My heroines in history. My grandmother, Ellen amongst many others.

My favorite names. Batman

What I hate most of all. Complacency.

Historical figures that I despise the most. The ones who caused the greatest pain.

The military event that I admire most. Anytime something small and just stood up against something large and unjust, prevailing.

The reform which I admire the most. I am not sure.

The gift of nature that I would like to have. The ability to naturally be at harmony with myself and my surroundings.

How I want to die. Smiling.

My present state of mind. Frantic

Faults for which I have the most indulgence. Not sure.

My motto. Love.

Bullet Point List for Seanster

Thoughts as of late:

• Watching Halloween last night was fun and makes me excited to live with Hosh and Sean.
• It’s a lot easier to criticize than it is to make a statement.
• Unforgiven is a must-see western movie.
• I am really excited for this week’s Lost episode.
• Writing music has been a blast lately.
• I called in sick yesterday just because I felt like it. That was probably bad of me, but oh well.
• I want a new job. I am grateful for what I have, but don’t feel really stable here.
• Sunflower Seeds are a must in warm weather.
• I listened to Alabama all weekend. That’s right, Alabama.
• Don’t lie to yourself, this picture makes you smile:

 

Bang, Bang

I heard a loud bang and instantly I felt cold. As I hit the ground, spatter covered the earth and tagged his shiny white shoes. I remember always fearing the pain, fearing the separation, fearing death. I can say that this is nothing like my preconceived notions told me. The only image in my head was that of the people I loved and cared for. The cement was rather cold, but my insides warmed it well. The shriek of men and women alike was alarming. I was calmed by the reality that it was over. My Maker beckoned me and it was time to meet.

Two hours earlier, I sat, puffing my robusto cigar, watching the smoke dissipate into the fan. As I looked across the table, I gazed into her eyes. We got up, and as my lips gripped the wrapped tobacco, I noticed a commotion outside. Curiosity burned inside of me and I grabbed her hand and we rushed outside. The cold air stung my eyes as they set upon the image of a drunkard yelling out obscenities into the sky. We met eyes and through my pupils I expressed the disgust I felt.

His arms waivered as he lifted them towards me. His fingers were wrapped so tightly around the pistol’s grip that I could hear it creaking. “Why would you do that?” I asked with desperation in my voice. He remained silent. He simply stared at me with cold, empty eyes. His lips quivered like a little boy who’d just lost his baseball game. I grew more and more frustrated, “Listen pal, this life is short enough, I don’t need your help in making it even shorter.” I said with irritation in my voice. With a dry calloused voice the man said “You fail me”.
“What??” I replied
“You fail me, over and over.” He rebutted.

Do I know this man? Did I forget to tip the bartender? As the air cleared it dawned on me, this was John Rivendale. I hadn’t seen John since my freshman year of college some 13 years ago. We were roommates in our small dormitory. He was a quiet boy who kept to himself. He would sit for hours upon hours, writing in his frayed composition book. Words on top of words filled his mind and spewed out onto the paper.

As I stand there, I start to remember things about him. I remember his awkward gazes at me while he wrote in his journal, his easily triggered temper. I can’t help but wonder if this man has had me on his thoughts for the past decade. What did I do that would cause this intense circumstance? I could see that the situation was on its way to a dead end. I frantically tried to explain myself and apologize for whatever it was that ate away at him.

“You have always failed me” he said once more.

Side note about this story: I wrote the first half to this about two and half years ago. I came across it and decided to finish it. It isn’t meant to make any kind of point or statement. I just wanted to reflect on what that circumstance would feel like.

The Creative Process

Mark posted a few weeks ago about his writing process. He mentioned how he likes to conceptualize songs in his head before sitting down and plucking them out on the guitar. I decided to give this a shot. I have been writing melodies and song structures in my head for the past few weeks using my cell phone’s voice recorder and moleskin. It’s a great way to write because you aren’t confined to your own level of guitar playing. I am used to sitting down with my d-40 and strumming the same four chords I always do. When it is all in your mind, the possibilities are endless. By the time you sit down to work it out musically, you already know exactly how you want it to sound, thus preventing yourself from falling back into those same patterns.

 

I suppose you can heed my words with a grain of salt. I am not really a great writer yet. I have always been really good at collaborating and helping other people expand their songs. My own music has always received very harsh self-judgment. Maybe it’s possibly rooted in my own insecurities or maybe the songs really do just suck. I figure if I keep my mind active and engaged the ideas will keep flowing out. Eventually one of them has to be decent! I really miss playing music live, so hopefully soon I can gather together some musicians and hit up a few clubs for fun.

 

The Beatles from Above

 

I stole this from Brandon. So freaking cool!

Jason Anderson

I don’t really know anything about this guy. Nathan reccomended him to me in Music Monday 2.0

It’s weird; I have a friend with this same name here in Denver. Like my friend Christopher said, “Sounds like a dirty hippy, but he has great stage presence and it very connective”. Anyway, watch this video and feel good:

Design that Dave is working on haha.

Church

I would like to take this time to make a public appreciation for my church and the relationships that have cultivated from it. I have made some really lovely friends here that are genuine and kind. Let me give you a little background:

 

If you would have talked to me about a year and a half ago, I would have been pretty vocal in my dislike for large churches. I had been kind of burned from my previous experience with a church who I felt was a little more interested in numbers over people. I almost got the feeling that this un-named church considered themselves failures for not being in the 500+ range for attendance. I am not going to go off on a tangent about that whole experience, let’s just say it left a bad taste in my mouth. I have gained a lot of reconciliation on the issue and feel at peace about it.

 

Flash forward, Mark and Judi had already been going to ORCC for a while, and were encouraging me to check it out. I was having trouble finding a place where I felt like I fit in. I hesitantly agreed to make an appearance. I was blown away by everyone’s attitude and demeanor. I remember speaking with Pastor Aaron Ingram after the service and feeling such a warm, non-judgmental vibe from him. From there, I started getting more involved in helping with their youth ministry and the music team. The relationships I have developed have been really meaningful and impactful for me, so I want to thank you all.

 

Now, the reason for this entry was not to just suck up to my church. I have a feeling that some people that read my blog are in the same place I was. Maybe you are cynical on the church, or so deep into your theological thoughts that you find it hard to engage in a church community. (That’s how I was). I encourage you to be open minded and come to the realization that you don’t need to agree with everything and you don’t need to be like everyone. What you do need is fellowship. We were created that way; we feed off each other and find life in relationships. You can still be emergent and progressive within a corporate environment. As a matter of fact, I would question new theological thoughts that haven’t been refined through conversation with all walks of faith, not simply an incestuous group that is not open to opposing thought. The fact is, there will always be things to disagree with and people are always going to let you down. Let’s rise up and find an identity in Christ that will stand the test of time.